The Pressure Can Kill

Hey beautiful + happy Tuesday!

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I started typing up the below email to you on Sunday but didn't get it finished in time to send it out before the end of the day, so although some details are a little dated at this point the main idea still stands.

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Now rewinding back to Sunday...

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Here in my part of Texas it’s a warm and sunny day! ☀️

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Yesterday was the same, but even though the sun was bright, the day was filled with wonderful possibilities, and my family + I were getting things together for our upcoming vaca it was a tough day for me mentally.
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It all started the week before when my daughter got sick. There were really only a couple of days where she felt bad. And after that first day my husband also got sick, but experienced more mild symptoms than our daughter.

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So when my son got sick on Monday I only expected a couple days of him feeling down as well but it actually went on for much longer. And then I got sick. 🙃

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Those 6 days were tough - super tough - full of changing diapers, lots of laundry, multiple baths some days, and sheer unpredictability.
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So by Saturday I was feeling depleted. But because it was my husband’s one day off for the week and I hadn’t been able to get some of our punch list items taken care of previously I thought it would be best to just power through.

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But my “power through” energy had already been tapped into the day before and even used that morning to get out the door, so by the time Saturday afternoon came around there was just nothing left.

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No ability to keep it together anymore.

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No ability to continue putting the smile on when I was feeling weak.

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And it showed...

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Not only was I pressuring myself to try to squeeze as much in as I could to make sure we got our task list taken care of, but I was also putting lots of pressure on myself to have a great day with my husband since it was his one day off this week. (We are not working the same shift right now so our time together is not as frequent as it used to be.)

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So all of that self-inflicted pressure took its toll.

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We didn't get anything from the store. I drove home and cried all the way home.

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And then when we got home we all laid down and napped for a couple of hours.

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Can you relate, Reader?

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Sometimes we push ourselves so far past our limits that there isn't a way to recover without actually stopping and resting.

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Sometimes we stop listening to our bodies or our minds when they say, "Hey, I need a break!" and we keep going until we collapse.

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And those types of lifestyles or habits are actually very detrimental to us, especially as followers of Christ.

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I am so thankful my husband was so supportive in those moments on Saturday. He didn't get mad. He didn't fuss at me or interrogate me about why I was ruining the one day he had off. I am so thankful he just went with what I needed to help me in those moments. To get home and get some rest.

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The pressure wasn't put on by anyone else. It was all placed on me. By me.

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And when I woke up from my nap I was able to see that. Because after I rested I felt so much better. Instead of continuing in that panicked mindset, I woke up energized + clear-headed.

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I cannot tell you how much in those moments I was relating the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19. Because just a day or two before I was texting my husband saying how in awe of God I was that during the sickness last week He had given us strength when we didn't have any. He had given us grace for one another in our infirmities. He had blessed us with such a stronger bond with one another because I was able to stay home and care of my children.

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And then on Saturday I was just out of any remaining energy. My strength was totally depleted. And I needed that rest like Elijah did to continue on the journey. (If you don't know the story I am referring to it is a great one. Go check it out!)

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But I say all of this to say - mental health is important.

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Knowing where our limits are and accepting that we need rest (and actually taking time to rest) is so important.

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We have to turn our knowledge into faith by taking action if we want to see God's promises come to pass in our lives + in the world around us.

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But it starts with us, Reader.

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It starts with us truly taking Jesus seriously when He said:

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Are we going to Jesus to help us in our time of need?

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Are we asking Jesus to heal us when we are broken?

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Are we asking Jesus to calm us in the midst of the storm?

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If not, then where are we turning to and what are we expecting to save us other than our Savior Himself?

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The pressures of this life are too heavy for us to bear on our own. And the weight of our own expectations can sometimes be more strenuous than anything else around us.

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But that is not the way Jesus wants us to live. And you don't have to.

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Sometimes you just need a nap to reset. And sometimes it is so much deeper than that.

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If it feels too deep for you right now Reader, you can run to Jesus right now and ask Him to help you with whatever you need. He is right there waiting for you!

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In Christ’s love,

~Sarah Murphy